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Joke of the Day
"(Sigh) I thought ""The Scarlet Letter"" was a book about red stationery...."
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"I put a downward force on the end of a lever arm in hopes to get a cold-cuts sandwich but ended up with a meatball marinara... TL;DR Weight a moment, wrong sub..."
"How do you make a blonde laugh at Easter? Tell her a joke at Christmas"
"Which is more threatening? A big sword or a small sword? The small sword - it's a little rapier"
"What do you call an elephant on drugs? Tranquilized."
"Welcome to the jungle. My name is Axl Rose. I think you'll find we run a pretty good jungle here. There's the toilet *points everywhere*"
"Me: ""Bless me father, it's been 13,505 days since my last confession."" Priest: ""You're off to a bad start."""
"What do you do with 365 used condoms? Mould them into a tire, and call it a GoodYear"
"You know that movie Anaconda? They filmed it in my pants."
"Spent all night being teased by Medusa. Now I'm hard as a rock."