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Joke of the Day

"So I just moved to a new area... And as usual I had to tell everyone that I am a registered sex offender. Just kidding, nobody's found out yet."

"World Cup Soccer? If I wanted to watch someone struggle to score for 90 minutes, I'd go watch some of my single friends at the bar."

"Why doesn't Bill Cosby like women's flip flops? ...because he can't lace them."

"Why does Beyonce sing ""to the left, to the left?"" She's secretly a NASCAR fan."

"Trump vs. Kanye 2020 Yeah. Fuck it, why not."

"What's the difference between your dick and a joke? Nobody laughs at your jokes."

"What do you suppose Ray Rice's fiance' did when he got her home from knocking her out? The dishes if she knows what's good for her!"

"A vegan, a few crossfitters and a bunch of atheists are coming over for Easter There's no joke, I just thought you all should know"

"I used to sell office supplies to the mafia, file cabinets and label makers and such I was involved in very organized crime"

"We could save a lot of hassle if we just made macaroni out of cheese in the first place."