86408

Joke of the Day

"What kind of coffee does a peg legged pirate drink? Decalfinated."

"You know whats the problem with Proctologists.... They always butt in."

"A German man was hitting on my sister-in-law... I told her ""He wants to put his wiener in your schnitzel."" She replied ""Not happening, I guess he'll be stroganoff."""

"Vote early and vote often! This *used* to be a real joke"

"What does the narcissistic cow say? Moooo! Cuz it's a cow"

"I have batlike reflexes. -You mean catlike reflexes? *screeches real loud right in your face to locate food and avoid obstacles*"

"I held the record for collecting Stephen King's books. Then I lost It."

"I bet the first person to keep track of his age was a gigantic tool ""This is my 24th winter"" Shut up and help us kill this boar, Stuart"

"I just became a Catholic recently... I still don't understand why we have to keep sitting down, standing up and kneeling. I wish the priest would just pick a position and fuck me!"

"Did you guys hear about the scandal with the South Korean president? She did the right thing and accepted Seoul responsibility."