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Joke of the Day

"Two fish are sitting in a tank. One fish says to the other, ""I don't know how to drive this thing""."

"Why was the centipede late ? Because he was playing ""This little Piggy"" with his baby brother !"

"[at the vets] He's really bad. He can't fly. ""He's a cat though."" [very sarcastically] oh I'm sorry is this the vets or the excuses clinic?"

"I broke into a shoe store and tied the laces together on all the womens shoes. Bitches be trippin."

"What do you call a judge with no thumbs? Justice Fingers!"

"How do you annoy a computer person with a problem? Never mind, I figured it out."

"You would never be able to live down to your reputation, but I see you're doing your best."

"10x2 and 11x2 are the same thing 10x2=20 and 11x2=20 too"

"Apparently my facebook friend, Ashley, has a cat suffering from a horrible hairball. I'll be spending the day praying for it like she asked."

"What's the difference between this post and a fire truck? A fire truck is red and has four wheels while this post is a complete fucking waste of your time."