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Joke of the Day

"Two fish are sitting in a tank. One fish says to the other, ""I don't know how to drive this thing""."

"What does a pirate with back spasms say? Shiver me lumbars."

"What award was given to the best Knock Knock joker? The No-Bell prize!"

"If you think marijuana doesn't kill you've obviously never read the bible. People getting stoned to death left and right."

"How many mothers-in-law does it take to change a light bulb? One. She just holds it up there and waits for the world to revolve around her."

"Why are dentists really good hackers? Because they always get root access."

"Translating the German joke Germans only tell Germans. I don't like to talk about the Holocaust either. My grandfather died in a concentration camp. He got drunk and fell off the guard tower."

"I hate when people text back ""K""...I'm rarely in the mood to talk about potassium."

"Of all the kisses I've gotten in my life. That is the first."

"A grasshopper walks into a bar bartender says...""Hey, we have a drink named after you."" Grasshopper says ""You have a drink named Jeff?"". budum pshhhh."