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Joke of the Day

"Children of ISIS have been complaining of the heat and the leaders didn't know what to do... lucky for them, they were able to recruit Italian ISIS. credit goes to Jerry Seinfeld for the idea."

"I'd name my daughter Roxanne. I'd play the song for her all the time so she knows she doesn't HAVE to be a prostitute."

"Why do you want to run for President? Because walking wouldn't burn enough calories."

"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't work? A stick."

"What car do polite cowboys drive? Audi!"

"If you're behind someone at an ATM late night, let them know you're not a threat by giving them a gentle kiss on their neck."

"A bunch of Jewish folks walk into a bar... Mitzva and celebrate Oscar's thirteenth bithday."

"[cash4gold] Man in a coat: [holding gold bar] ""How much is this worth?"" ""It's 25 carats..."" [8 rabbits rustle excitedly beneath trench-coat]"

"My dream girl? Dirty blond hair, strong arms, cold eyes, immaculately shaped facial hair, no remorse -Are you describing Chuck Norris? Yes"

"How many gays does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just you"