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Joke of the Day

"A bunch of Jewish folks walk into a bar... Mitzva and celebrate Oscar's thirteenth bithday."

"I have used contact lenses my whole life... I can apply them with my eyes closed."

"How do you greet a British programmer named Cathryn? 'Allo-cate"

"""Not gay enough"" - superhero working on his costume"

"What do you call a reptile that loves putting things in groups? a segreGATOR"

"Thinking about wearing Uggs this summer? Just remember that blonde girl in the movie 'Taken'. She wore Uggs during the summer and died."

"Do you know what a Timberwolf is? No. Thats a guy that chases a girl up a tree and kisses her inbetween the limbs."

"Tonight I'm going to be naughty and tie my man to the bed. Then I'll make him watch a Golden Girls marathon while I eat the left over pizza."

"Jesus came to me the other night Please let me out."

"Facebook likes I want to make a Facebook account and the name will be Nobody so when I see stupid crap people post, I can Like it. And it will say Nobody Likes This."