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Joke of the Day

"A Jamaican is sightseeing in Egypt. A vehicle drives by, beeping its horn. ""Coo yah!"" he says. ""It's tootin' car, mon!"""

"Yo mama's so stupid she can't pass a blood test."

"The French are a very religious people... I talked to some of them, and they are all *Je suis* this, an *Je suis* that."

"What do you say to change the atmosphere at a dinner party? ""If were all here, who's looking after Madeline?"""

"Damn I hate this time of year I just get so damn Claustrophobic"

"How's school, Hannah? ""Really tough, dad."" They're calling you Hannah Banana, aren't they? ""No-"" WHY THE HELL NOT"

"""Creepy DM: I want to shave your legs. Me: Ew"" On reflection this would have been a real time saver. If you're reading this, call me?"

"*brings a laser pointer to the Broadway showing of Cats and creates utter mayhem*"

"I'm still not sure how the church expects me to do all that kneeling and standing and praying on just that one little wafer they feed you."

"Wait, there's a big difference. Did you say I look like THE Rock or did you say I look like A rock?"