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Joke of the Day

"Damn I hate this time of year I just get so damn Claustrophobic"

"How do you bother somebody with OCD 3,7,9,11,13,17,19....."

"Pedophiles are like televisions Even a three year old can turn them on."

"I met Jesus once but he was kind of a dick He was all ""holier-than-thou"""

"Let's vote the pool water off that celebrity diving show."

"My physics teacher told me I had potential. Then he threw me off the roof. A joke my mate told me after an after-hours lesson."

"What's red, 10 inches long, and makes my girlfriend cry when I try to put it in her mouth? Her miscarriage. sorry."

"A neutrino walks into a bar... and it just keeps on going."

"[speed dating] HER: So what do you- ME: How fast can you order a pizza? HER: I don't- ME: *hits buzzer* NEXT"

"Did you hear about the attempted shooting at the 2015 Pokemon World Championship? The gunmen tried to escape, but luckily, officers were able to catch'em all."