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Joke of the Day

"Why did the bicycle fall over?? Because it was two tired..."

"What's the difference between jam and jelly? I'm not going to jelly my dick in your ass."

"What do you call an Italian whore? A pastatute. I'll see myself out."

"Bernie Sanders and his supporters. The very people who accused Trump of spreading fascism, bigotry, and racism used those very things to close down the rally in Chicago."

"What is 7'' long, rock hard, and makes girls scream at it's sight? The sock under my bed."

"What do you get when you cross an octopus and a Mexican? I don't know but it can pick the shit out of some lettuce."

"I'm basically just waiting to eat again."

"Goldfish One day, baby goldfish went to ask him father : ""Dad, why do our memories only last for 3 seconds?"" ""What son?"" ""What?"""

"What's the difference between Jimmy Fallon and myself? I can get through a Jimmy Fallon joke without laughing."

"BOSS: There's limited parking at the event so we are going to carpool ME (pulling a pair of floaties out of my desk drawer): oh hell yeah"