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Joke of the Day

"Has Kim Kardashian Broken The Internet? I'm not sure if Kim Kardashian has actually managed to 'break the internet', but she's certainly put a big crack in it!"

"I would tell a Sith joke... but I don't know if you like darth humor."

"Intellectual person on phone. Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?"

"If I had a dollar for every person who found me unattractive... I'd buy the htc vive, because who the fuck cares if your ugly when you have VR."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 was a registered 6 offender"

"Pavlov is sitting at a bar... ...when another patron walks in and a bell on the door rings. Pavlov stands up, says, ""I forgot to feed the dogs,"" and leaves."

"I woke up with a horrible hangover today... I could have sworn she was beautiful last night."

"ME: *pulling up my pants* What's the prognosis, Doc? DOCTOR: You've got cancer. ME: WHAT?! DOCTOR: Haha. Jk. I'm not a doctor."

"Listen auto-correct, I've never tweeted about a duck. But I've tweeted the word fuck over 2648 times. Smart phone my ass."

"Yesterday I went to a temporary tattoo parlour to get a tattoo After it wouldn't wash off this morning I went back to complain, but the tattoo parlour wasn't there."