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Joke of the Day

"Intellectual person on phone. Well, if I called the wrong number, why did you answer the phone?"

"If I could have sex with any historical figure it would be Marie Antoinette. I hear she gives good head."

"Psychic in a clothes shop Employee: How about this one? Psychic: Nah, its too small Employee:But you haven't even tried it on. Psychic: I'm a medium"

"My daughter called Neapolitan ice cream ""three-way"" ice cream & I'm not sure I'll correct her cuz I'm a horrible person & it makes me laugh."

"Did you hear what happened to the man who ate too much spaghetti? He pasta way."

"How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan."

"Police vs Driver Police officer: ""Can you identify yourself, sir?"" Driver pulls out his mirror and says: ""Yes, it's me."""

"A man sitting in a publisher's office has his memoir turned down for a third time... He sighed and said ""story of my life."""

"My favorite short joke. How much cum does a queer have? ... A buttload. I always found this humorous because a lot of people use 'shit load' or 'fuck ton' as units of measure."

"A man with his hands in his pants is not crazy... ...he's just feeling nuts!"