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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend said last night ""Fuck me like a man"" So I putted in her ass and started calling her George"

"What do you call a Mexican Jedi? A Padajuan"

"How many ballerinas does it take to screw in a lightbulb? ...5,6,7,8!"

"Someone really has to have a serious talk with birds about their pooping habits Do they really think we're gonna let that shit fly?"

"We've replaced Steve's regular coffee with a detailed understanding of the impending heat death of the universe. Let's see if he notices."

"What's the worlds strongest animal? A 'buff'alo"

"How does a duck swim from one side of the pond to the other? Very Quackly"

"The Clinton Foundation is like my ex-wife. They keep 94% of the money and still don't feed the kids."

"A governor is being inaugurated and there are snipers on buildings and based on my work in video games I'm offended I wasn't asked to help."

"What do you call a midget fortune teller, who is wanted by the law? A Small Medium at Large"