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Joke of the Day

"The village people asked all the wrong questions I mean... Why not MCA?"

"Who, me? Oh, just living the dream. You know, that one where you forget to wear clothes to work."

"Pretended to add my number into this obnoxious guy's phone. All I did was edit his mom's contact. Hope she likes dick pics and booty calls."

"Freudian Slip... I got divorced over a Freudian slip. I meant to say, ""Please pass the salt"" but I said, ""You rotten bitch, you ruined my life."" (I think that's a Jackie Mason joke)"

"What do all Amish girls want? Two Mennonite"

"Heard this from an eight year old: What's green and pecks on trees. Woody Wood Pickle"

"I'm going to go against the Circlejerk here and say that I am really starting to like Mayweather It's really starting to Warmup, without getting Overlyhot as it does during Midsummer."

"What does a chef and a gravitational wave astronomer have in common? They both work in gastronomy"

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking. ............. JK rolling!"

"Calling someone ""stupid"" is mean. Unless they actually are. Then it's just a diagnosis."