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Joke of the Day

"What insect is the Wood Ant related to? The Should Ant and the Could Ant."

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"How many Toronto Maple Leaf fans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Nobody knows. They always say they'll do it next year."
"What kind of musical instrument do mice play ? A mouse organ !"
"the best part about kissing a girl is that fun little 30yr build-up right before it happens"
"What do you get if you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber? No one knows. You can't cross a vector and a scalar."
"What do you call a horny asian woman? Actually, I'm not going to finish that. It's a slippery slope."
"What did the beaver say to the tree? [It's been nice 'gnawing' you!](#s)"
"What are Mozart and Beethoven up to these days? They're both Decomposing"
"Me: Better late than never! Wife: ... M: Seeing red? W: ... M: Go with the flow! W: ... M: I'll go buy tampons. W: NOW, MISTER FUNNY MAN."
"Why did the hipster only listen to dead musicians? So he could say he listened to them when they were underground."