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Joke of the Day

"usain bolt, the fastest man in the world, can run almost 30mph. that means if were to run in a neighborhood, he could get pulled over by the cops...for being black."

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"My mum always told me it's better out than in... But my uncle always told me that it's better in than out."
"""Mrs. Doubtfire"" is my favorite movie about a messy custody battle that gives way to horribly illegal and creepy transgendered stalking."
"What do you call four Mexicans in quicksand? - Quattro Sink-o"
"What has 4 legs but cant move? A child born in Chernobyl, duh."
"They say a woman knows after 7 seconds whether or not she wants to have sex... Good thing I only last 5."
"My girlfriend put on a few pounds recently. That explains why I'm attracted to her more."
"What type of computer is unusually large? A Dell"
"My dog recently stole my loafers. Now they're his new favorite pair of **chews.**"
"If 'con' is the opposite of 'pro', then the opposite of progress is..."