76151

Joke of the Day

"I've come to accept the fact that I'm quite vain. On a vanity scale of 1-10 I'm about a 6. . . A sexy six."

"What do you say when someone asks you to make a fat person leave? ""Piece of cake."""

"Why don't you invite a Comcast worker to your party? Because nobody likes his company!"

"If these grapes were drugs I'd be overdosing like a child star of the 80s."

"How do you know when a blonde has been using your computer? There is white-out on the screen. How do you know that another blonde has been using the computer? Someone has written on the white-out."

"How does a fish always know how much they weigh? Because they have their own scales!"

"""911? Help, my house is burning down!"" ""Sir, we're sending the fire brigade right now."" ""I HAVE ENOUGH FIRE I DON'T NEED A BRIGADE OF IT."""

"""I totally nailed that guy"" - Roman soldiers"

"Did you know you clench your butt when you sleep yeah, it was really tight last night."

"Knock knock [Fixed] Who's there? Smell mop. Smell mop who? ... hehe"