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Joke of the Day

"What has four hairy legs and sleeps with my sister? My father and I"

"He called my girlfriend a whore. So I called him an ambulance."

"How to even in three and half easy steps. I literally can't even."

"Never forget. Never forget that Americans can't even get the date the right way around. Sincerely the rest of the world on 9/11."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garbanzo bean? I wouldn't pay $40 to have a garbanzo bean on my face."

"The three American Marines that helped thwart the Terrorist Attack in France did something than no Frenchman ever has. Received Frances Highest Honor..."

"I hate how funerals are always at like 9 or 10am I'm not a mourning person."

"I don't know why everyone says quitting smoking is so hard; I've done it hundreds of times."

"""I want my country back"" is a fair and accurate thing to say if at one point in your life you owned the country."

"Winter is a lot like Justin Bieber. It was cute and exciting in the begining, but now its a bit annoying and it should probably just stay in Canada."