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Joke of the Day

"Sometimes I just like to surprise my liver and drink water."

"US Mexicans who support Donald Trump Clearly demonstrate appreciation for a trip to beautiful Mexico. --- ^And ^come ^back."

"Why did a footballer take a piece of rope onto the pitch? He was the skipper!"

"Yo girl, I'm a meteorologist and... I predict around 8 inches tonight."

"Why can't Irishmen be lawyers? They can never get past the bar."

"An asshole What do you call a person who reads the punchline before the joke?"

"The most stressful part of my day is when my 5 year old shows me what he made in Arts & Crafts and I have to guess what it is."

"Why is modern porn so awful?! What is that clitoris drum-like slapping?! What do we teach our kids?!"

"If you spin an Chinese man around a hundred times... does he get disoriented?"

"my girlfriends said if this gets 1000 up votes My girlfriend said if this gets 1000 votes we'll try anal. So please don't vote, her strap on is huge and it really scares me."