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Joke of the Day

"Presidents What's the difference between Bill Clinton and John F. Kennedy? One got his head blown off, the other was assassinated."

"I went on a diet for 10 days. You know what I lost? 10 Days"

"I just held the door open for an Asian guy. He said, ""Sank you,"" so I punched him in the face. I can't believe he brought up Pearl Harbor like that."

"Saw the trailer for Life Of Pi. Why are they making a Calvin & Hobbes movie in 2013?"

"What do you call a turkey with no arms? a turkey"

"What's the difference between a pig and a musician? A pig won't stay up all night to fuck a musician"

"The only way I can appreciate a beautiful view is by taking a picture of it with my phone & looking at it on the screen."

"Why would OP make a terrible pizza chain? Because they don't deliver."

"My doctor wrote me a prescription... It writes dailysex but my girlfriend insists it's dyslexia"

"What do you call an Eskimo peeping tom? Tukaluk"