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Joke of the Day

"My parents took away my mood ring . . . . . . I don't know how I feel about it."

"Mental illness isn't a disease... ... It's all in the mind."

"Why is Islam so unethical towards its employees Ironically, it's all about prophets"

"3 men asked me out while I was shoveling out my car. Lesson learned: showering and makeup are optional as long you're grunting."

"I just called up the phone company and put em on hold. Every 5min I come on an tell them how important their business is to me. Please hold."

"Everyone is misunderstanding me... I just don't know why. I keep telling them I got an East Infection. (better said verbally)"

"Hear about the paranoid guy who stopped using twitter? He said everyone was following him."

"I'm gonna go out on a limb here and say that the worst time to have a heart attack would be during a game of charades."

"Ever turn the radio right to your favorite song as it's beginning? It almost makes up for the fact that everyone you love will die sometime."

"What's the difference between a chickpea and a garabonzo bean? I don't have a garabonzo bean in my garage because that's where I get pee'd on so there is tarps everywhere."