85619

Joke of the Day

"Instead of a sign that says ""Do not disturb"" I need one that says ""Already disturbed"""

"She: Why don't we ever have sex anymore? Me: What's this ""we"" shit? I'm having plenty."

"After my vasectomy I thought I couldn't get my wife pregenant Apparently it just changes the color of the baby"

"It's a good thing the pilgrims and indians feasted on turkey instead of cats at the original Thanksgiving... ...otherwise we would only get to eat pussy once a year."

"What people travel the most? Romans."

"(Original) did you know that if you squeeze one of your balls hard enough you'll cum? Because sooner or later you'll bust a nut"

"The only things that defy gravity are women... ...the heavier they are, the easier they are to pick up."

"Shoutout to the wife for stacking her shampoo bottles in the shower like she's on her last 3 turns on Jenga."

"Why do women have periods? because they deserve them."

"HIM: Hi, I'm Bill. ME: Hi, I'm...oh shit this is embarrassing. I'm not really good with names."