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Joke of the Day

"What do you call a Chinese man with a pet cat? A vegetarian."

"Today may be the hottest day of the year but all the other days have nicer personalities."

"My grandparents worked hard to make sure their kids had everything and I'm working hard and not having kids to make sure I keep everything."

"[preppin for rap battle] *pops retainer out* dont wanna give him any ammunition *takes off suspenders* that should do it *rollerblades away*"

"What's the best part about marrying a farmer? You get to grow old together."

"Thinking about starting an independent pharmacy called ""Netflix and Pills"". Quality patient care with 24/7 Netflix while you wait. Thoughts?"

"What does a cow who's a jerk grow up to be? Beef Jerky."

"Why was there a whale in Wales in a well? We're not sure, its a deep subject...."

"How much liquor does it take before you start telling racist jokes? For me, it's about three fifths."

"*Sets cellphone ringtone to sound like office fire alarm *calls cell phone *waits"