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Joke of the Day

"A significant proportion of public restroom users are assholes. The rest are all either dicks or cunts."

"Son: Where are the Himalayas? Father: If you'd put things away you'd know where to find them."

"Why do men snore when they lay on their backs? Because their balls fall over their assholes and they vapor."

"What do you call a Mexican child molester? A Pedrophile"

"I taped Scooby Doo at 2am without realizing the commercials would change & now my 5 year old won't stop saying, ""Hot single ladies!""."

"What's the difference between Jelly and Jam? I can't Jelly my dick in an ass."

"HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO, OR AS IT'S KNOWN AS IN ARIZONA, ""CINCO DE WHAT-O? YOU'RE UNDER ARREST-O, PACO"""

"If Hillary had a sex change, then we still wouldn't have a female president... except for North Carolina."

"If you run through an airport yelling ""Marybeth I love you don't go!"" then you can cut through so many lines of people who like romance."

"What happens when the cows refuse to be milked? Udder chaos!"