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Joke of the Day

"Why is it forbidden for ants to go in a church? They are in-sects"

"I never really liked the word syllable. It's seems pretty full of itself."

"""You're sure you understand stock trading?"" ME: Yep ""Then why (holds up card) did you trade our Google shares for a Charizard?"""

"I advise you, don't mess with me, I know karate, kung fu, judo, tae kwon do, jujitsu, and 28 other dangerous words."

"Not gonna lie to you guys, I've used my inter-net connection to look at boobs, tits, and what have you."

"That awkward moment when your girlfriend and side chick are both pregnant... ...and you realize you have to tell your wife."

"Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pale of water. I don't know what they did up there, but they came back with a daughter."

"Why did the witch keep turning people into Mickey Mouse? She was having Disney spells."

"Hey, college students: It gets debtor."

"I told my hairdresser to just take a little bit off. It makes me more relaxed when I can see her breasts."