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Joke of the Day

"How was the bird able to pass his math test? He was winging it."

"Wife's Dream! Wife: ""In my dream, I saw you in a jewelry store and you bought me a diamond ring."" Husband: ""I had the same dream and I saw your dad paying the bill."""

"Pick-up Line How 'bout you come to Myspace, so I can Twitter you with my Yahoo then Google all over your Facebook?"

"Hoe many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? Swan."

"[wearing World's Best Dad shirt] Wife: whys there blood on your shirt? Me: its not my blood Guy bleeding out in the yard: its not your shirt"

"Why couldn't Batman go to the movie? Because it was rated ""PG"""

"Why do some accountants decide to become actuaries? They find bookkeeping too exciting."

"GF's friend didn't keep my Valentine's gift a secret. So I had to embroider a towel for her too. Because, well, snitches get stitches."

"Why did the rooster buy mittens? So his chicken fingers wouldn't get cold. I'll leave now"

"I have been checking Facebook less and less. If this continues, I'll eventually forget about all those people for the 2nd time."