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Joke of the Day

"Might be time to get in shape. Halfway up these stairs and I'm considering setting up base camp and trying again in the morning."

"What do you get if you drop a piano on an army base? A flat major."

"Doctor asks a prostitute, do you know who the father is? prostitute replies. Oh for goodness sakes If you ate a can of baked beans would you know which one made you fart?"

"Two Scottish guys discussing a wedding.. First guys asks ""What are ye wearing to yer weddin'?"" Second fella says ""A kilt of course!"" First fella ""What's the tartin?"" ""She's wearing white"" says his pal"

"I was in the middle of a selfie and my mother walked in, now all she can say is ""don't worry son everyone's doing that."""

"How did Harry Potter get down the hill? Walking! jk... rolling"

"Oh you love your mom's cooking? Name 4 of her dishes."

"What's the difference between the Mafia and the Government? Only one of them is organized."

"Mohammad is a great name for a businessman It's all about the prophet."

"How many Freudian analysts does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change it, and the other to hold the penis. LADDER. I MEANT LADDER."