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Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about that mexican murdering train driver? He had locomotives."

"I think it's fun how Hollywood gets to make as many Superman movies as they want until they get it right."

"LAWYER: ur dad's estate ME: who called it executing a will instead of splittin heirs L: he said if u made a dumb joke u get nothing M: shit"

"What's the similarity between Bill Cosby and Santa have in common? They both come when you're asleep."

"Tell me more about how you don't have to work out often because you get too strong too fast. Man what a predicament"

"What is the difference between a Mother and Wife? One woman brings you into this world crying and the other ensures you continue to do so."

"I miss the days before the internet, when you didn't know some person's every awful thought until they died and you cleaned out their attic."

"The voice actor for The Count on Sesame Street passed away this year... I guess his number was up."

"If Hannibal Lector is not a vegetarian, what is he? A humanitarian."

"How were the Jews captured during World War 2? They could not resist a ho-low-cost."