85014

Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between a lentil and a chickpea? I wouldn't pay 200 to let a lentil in my mouth."

"Comedy is tragedy plus time."

"Was the principal's brother really a missionary? He certainly was. He gave the people of the Cannibal Islands their first taste of Christianity !"

"Can I homeless person a cigarette off someone"

"Male Birth Control. ....Because its easier to unload the gun than shooting at a bulletproof vest."

"What is the difference between a peeping tom and a pick pocket? A pickpocket snatches watches"

"My grandparents worked hard to make sure their kids had everything and I'm working hard and not having kids to make sure I keep everything."

"""Sound the alarm!"" ""Dude, there's no way that thing will fit."""

"Two handicapped men walk into a bar... PRAISE THE LORD!!"

"All of my friends are jealous when they find out I hooked up with my math teacher in high school But honestly, being homeschooled sucked."