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Joke of the Day

"Why is Santa's sack so full? Because he only comes once a year."

"If you love a cat, set it free. If it comes back to you, it's yours to keep. If it doesn't, you drove far enough."

"Men are like vacuum cleaners. They're not much fun but at least you get to push them around."

"Me: I'm going to bed after this episode. Netflix: Hahahahahaha! Sure. Ok."

"Today I was asked if the guy that put up the blinds... was a blind installer. I said, 'Nope, he could see.'"

"An elf walks into a bar. (LOTR) The hobbit laughed and walked under it."

"My friend was being attacked by a duck. I tried to warn him but it only made things worse."

"What did the girl's suicide note say when she hung herself? *sings* I WANNA SWIIIING FROM THE CHANDELIERRRRRR"

"A Jew, a mathematician and an Irishman enter a bar Bartender says: ""How did you all land up in the wrong joke?"""

"Why did the UK's BBFC ban facesitting? They're big fans of teabagging."