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Joke of the Day

"What's a scientist's favorite shade of blue? Cyan-tific."

"Where do you find a paraplegic Where you left them"

"My grandfather had his tongue shot off in the war. We could never get him to talk about it."

"What's the hardest part of making monster soup? Stirring it."

"*Secretly duct-tapes boomerang to the back of his car* Him: *Drives away* Me: *whispers* ""yeah, you'll be back."""

"Why don't Italians do bondage? Because they can't say the safeword while they're wearing handcuffs."

"Wrote a letter to Santa today because i don't want him to think that we only talk when i want something from him."

"I didn't know too many Jewish people growing up. I realize now that where I'm from they are in the menorah-ty"

"I'm always right. I thought i was wrong once, But i was wrong."

"How do u kill a blonde ? Give her a knife and ask her who is the prettiest of all ."