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Joke of the Day
"Kanye West wants to be president... But no one man should have all that power."
Next Joke
"What's the worst thing for a cannibal to say to a friend? Your family has impeccable taste."
"People admit to shopping for their girlfriends/wives all the time... but when I do it I get busted for ~~prostitution~~ human trafficking."
"I don't think this guy who just told a woman to calm down understands how women work"
"9 out of 10 Americans agree ...that out of 10 Americans, one American will always disagree with the other nine."
"Coffee is so addicted to me, it can't wait to get in my belly. In its defense, my belly is awesome."
"I love how all my apps shake when I go to delete one.. There all like awww shit, who's it gonna be this time"
"When you've got a bladder infection... Urine trouble."
"*whispers to dog wearing a 'working dog, do not pet' vest* psst what time does your shift end?"
"Q: What's the Internet's favorite animal? A: The lynx."