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Joke of the Day

"I hate when I drop my pen on the floor and it's slightly out of reach so I leave it there forever."

"""Mary had a little lamb. had."" -wolf"

"Last day of school for my kids. For the next ten weeks, I can stop pretending math is important."

"What is the difference between a fly and a bird ? A bird can fly but a fly can't bird !"

"I love my Sherlock Holmes dildo... I call him, Bendy-dick Cum-a-bunch"

"I've spent the past four years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer.. But no one will do it."

"I am a professional counterfeiter. I even have the certificates to prove it."

"So all them black Harry Potter wizards just sat there and let slavery happen?"

"My sister bet me a $100 i couldn't build a car out of Spaghetti... You should've seen the look on her face when i drove pasta!!!!"

"What does a clock do when it's hungry? It goes back 4 seconds"