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Joke of the Day

"I don't know if this is a good idea. Narrator: He knew, in fact, it was an awful idea."

"What did the left butt cheek say to the right? If we stick together we can stop this shit."

"Why do sailors use liquid soap? It takes longer to pick up when they drop it."

"Which white dude probably had the biggest dick? Michael Jackson"

"Wife: We get 1 ""cheat meal"" on our diet. I want tacos. What do you want? Me: The waitress. ...And that's why I'm not getting laid tonight."

"I'll never forget the last thing my grandpa told me before he kicked the bucket. He said ""Watch how far I can kick this bucket!"""

"What happens if you see twin witches? You won't be able to tell witch witch is witch."

"I am so dwarf that... I am so dwarf that people don't take me seriously enough to win any competition other than stand up comedy!"

"Guys, I think I found the Cure to Aids! It requires having a Magic Johnson."

"10 years ago, my teenage daughter ran away from home. I bumped into her the other day and she said ""Dad, I have something to tell you. I'm a prostitute"". I always knew she would suck seed."