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Joke of the Day

"Just been sent to jail for the first time and spent the first half hour getting ass raped. My Uncle Frank takes Monopoly far too seriously"

"POP RACIST MATH PROBLEM QUIZ! Jamal has $600 rims on his car. He's traveling at 45 mph. How many children does Jamal have? show your work."

"If vampires like the taste of blood so much they should floss."

"Being misunderstood is an art and apparently I should open a gallery."

"I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, ""How flexible are you?"" I said, ""I can't make Tuesdays."

"What is the Hamburglar's favorite David Bowie song? Rebel Rebel!"

"They used to call them jumpolines... until your mom used one."

"Wife: You're shirtless? *nods* W: And covered in...oil? -Well, you know how you always say I never glisten? W: Listen. You never listen. -Oh"

"What do you call a nun on a bicycle? Virgin Mobile"

"Girl, are you my funny bone? Cause you're humerus."