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Joke of the Day
"What sound does a Nintendo Ambulence make? Wii U, Wii U, Wii U, Wii U."
Next Joke
"I think my anorexic girlfriend is cheating on me... Every day I'm seeing less and less of her. ` ` ^^~not ^^my ^^joke"
"Saw a bug crawling on my arm and my reaction can only be described as ""grabbing for swirling dollars inside a plexiglas Cash Cube."""
"How did the Mother Banana spoil the Baby Banana? She left him out in the sun too long."
"A guy walks into a doctor's office... ...with corn in his ears, a carrot shoved up his nose and a potato in his butt. Doctor says, ""Buddy, you're not eating right..."""
"""Keep busy, you should."" Yoda said. ""Make your Dagobah faster, it will."""
"My girlfriend wanted me to be more like her ex. So I dumped her."
"Just heard a little kid tell his dad he was a lion and his dad said ""Wow!"" What a fucking pair of idiots."
"What is the best use for a wet dog?[x-post from /r/MeanJokes] Getting the smell of white people out of your house."
"What is brown and sticky? A brown stick. Bonus: what's red and fluffy? Red fluff."