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Joke of the Day
"A developer tried to pull weeds out of his garden... But he didn't have root access."
Next Joke
"How does Hitler organize his juice? By concentration"
"Day One, living in one of those tiny houses: ""Well, isn't this quaint?"" Day Two: Murder"
"Daughter has amputated three dolls in the span of twelve hours. Really hoping our dog is smart enough to stay away from her."
"So Stephen Hawking walked into a bar Just kidding"
"Doctor, I need help. I have a bowel movement everyday at 7. But that's very health, Mr Johnson. It would be but I don't wake up until 8"
"Scientology: The study of scientol."
"What's the difference? What's the difference between jam and jelly? I CANT JELLY MY COCK DOWN YOUR THROAT!!!"
"Where did Abdelhamid Abaaoud do most of his craft shopping? Wahabi Lobby."
"[At microphone] *clears throat* ""Salsa. Ballet. Conga. Waltz. Jitterbug. Tap."" *crowd cheers* ""Thanks for attending my dance recital."""