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Joke of the Day

"Too many girls want attention, not enough want respect!"

"What's the difference between sex every day, and a tire? One is a good year, the other is a GREAT year"

"Bareknuckle boxing is a little less manly... ...when you refer to it as ""topless fisting"". -&y (again, tis written by me!)"

"*whispers to old lady at Starbucks* one time they ran out of coffee here and we ate a baby"

"When I catch my dog sleeping, I shave dicks into his fur."

"I think we're looking at the NSA spying thing the wrong way, there are potential positives. Soon if you forget your email password you'll be able to ring the CIA and they'll remind you."

"Nurse: Taking you back into surgery. Something was sewn inside you. Me: What? Can I talk to the surgeon? [from my stomach] I'm right here"

"Knock knock Who's there? I eat mop I eat mop who? That's disgusting. You shouldn't tell people that."

"How many kids with ADD does it take to change a light bulb? Wanna go ride bikes? My all time favorite joke. Sorry if it has already been posted but who has the time to browse all of r/jokes."

"What do u call an ethopian with a feather up his ass? A dart"