84495

Joke of the Day

"Christmas Presents To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present... They are due back at the library today."

"My girlfriend and I used to like to pretend she was Khaleesi and I was Drogo Until she called me ""Crack of her Moon"""

"My special power is reading about a disease and developing all the related symptoms within an hour."

"Despite my rock and roll lifestyle, I'm pretty sure I'm going to die via punctured gums from a tortilla chip."

"Go deep throat a cactus."

"Alpha Kenny Body Say it fast, slut."

"Any time you see a mass suicide case on the news, you can pretty much assume the assembly of an IKEA product was the cause."

"Oedipal Arrangements ...just like your mom used to make."

"A Jewish boy asks his father: ""Father, can I please borrow 50 dollars?"" The father replies: ""40 dollars! What on earth do you need 30 dollars for!?"""

"This morning someone phoned me and told me that I need to sort my fucking life out. It was quite a wake up call."