78272

Joke of the Day

"My son just said he's going to write his name on our cat with a raisin. Guess I won't have to waste money on college."

"I like my women like I like my beer. . . . . . cold, pale and without a head."

"Why is Darth Vader's helmet so phallic? ...because when they hid Luke & Leia from him, they removed his force kin."

"Beyonce is a great actress because there is no way she has the time or energy to have the kind of sex she sings about."

"Apparently, ""I just assumed"" is a horrible answer when your wife asks you why you bought her the ""heavy flow"" tampons."

"What do you call El Chapo suffering from seizures? Narcolepsy"

"The enemy of my enemy is my friend, unless it's one of those half-wits who always says ""ironic"" when they mean coincidental."

"Negative Million Dollar Idea: devote a large portion of your 20s and 30s in pursuit of vague creative oriented career ambitions."

"just realized horses can't hug and now I can't sleep"

"Indie-Tarts: the nuanced alternative to Pop-Tarts."