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Joke of the Day

"I saw a huge seagull today... It was big enough to be a D-gull But not quite big enough to be an Eagle"

"Wouldn't that be a cool twist if World War 3 turned out to be a U.S.-Russia thing after all? ""So retro!"", you'd think as you were vaporized."

"When I said I got a little action last night, I was referring to bed bugs."

"Girl, you're like school in june.. No class."

"How many elves does a german santa have? Elf."

"Which elf likes to click pictures? sELFie"

"If that's his reaction to spinach, Popeye should never try cocaine."

"I can confirm that men and women may disagree on when advice is helpful. In related news, it is warm enough to sleep outside."

"Emperor: Luke, kill Vader and become my apprentice. Vader: But why? I've been loyal. Emperor: Have you ever listened to yourself breathe?"

"Mrs. Bigger had a baby. Which one was bigger? The baby. It was a little Bigger."