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Joke of the Day

"Friend: Do you have a bird problem? Me: No. Friend: Why is there a scare crow in your compound. Me: Oh that? That's for people."

"So there is a First class only Indian Airline. Their motto is ""We will treat you passengers like Cattle"""

"Haven't tweeted lately because I'm really absorbed by this Bounty paper towel."

"What is a missionary's favorite car a convertible"

"I loathe tweets like ""Be somebody's beautiful tragedy"". Might as well tweet using a random word generator. ""Be golf brisket honkytonk"""

"Kylo Ren used to complain his parents were passive aggressive. Well, boo hoo. My dad was actively aggressive. Just ask my hand."

"What is Justin Timberlake's favorite river in Russia? Crimea River"

"I heard going on the internet gives you dementia. Who are you?"

"Batman had the bat signal. If you need to get my attention, hold a Roast Beef Sandwich over a floor lamp and aim it at my apartment."

"I own a gun so if a robber breaks into my home and steals my stuff I can shoot all my stuff and break it so the robber can't enjoy any of it"