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Joke of the Day

"Did you ever see someone yawn, and then yawn yourself? That psychological reaction is a phenomenon known as: ""Katherine Heigl movies."""

"Whenever a guy named Stephen tells me what to do, I like to yell, ""you're not my real hen!"" and run away..."

"How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb? Just Juan."

"Never threaten anyone. It spoils the surprise."

"some tweets get big favs but no RTs. why? [camera pans to dog in lab coat high up on a distant ledge. we're too far away to hear his answer]"

"Kind of sad that old people, who have the least amount of time left, are the ones wasting the most time typing in ""http://www."""

"Most of my time is spent trying to work ""That's So Raven"" into everyday conversation."

"What do you call a tree if you don't know what kind of tree it is? It's a mystery."

"Why did Santa bring his sack with him when starring in the pantomime? He wanted to have some stage presents."

"If Sean Connery starred in Interstellar... He'd tell Murph to stop talking to her shelf."