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Joke of the Day

"i wanna see the masterchef jr deleted scenes that HAVE to exist of gordon ramsay calling a kid the c-word for trying to julienne a snickers"

"Two drums and a symbol fall off a cliff. Bud dum tsss"

"I asked my dad if I was adopted... He said, ""No, but not from lack of trying."""

"Its Saddam shame, the situation in the Middle East... ... it's Assad day for us all."

"I heard you are what you eat Must explain why your such a huge dick"

"Why did the hipster burn his mouth? He drank the coffee before it was cool."

"*sets trap* *snares the Easter Bunny* *pats his head* *lets him go* What?!?...What did you think I was going to do, you savages."

"Which duck will destroy the establishment? None, ducks are not allowed in politics."

"Transsexuals just aren't what they used to be"

"Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The Ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent."