84135

Joke of the Day

"The reason that I'm not a superstitious person... ...I think that if you believe in superstition that it'll only bring you bad luck."

"A new rumor has surfaced that the next iPhone will feature an all-glass exterior. Because why should just the front be cracked?"

"Q: What did the writing utensil take for his high sugar level? A: Pencil-in."

"What's the difference between England and Oscar Pistorius? England gets off scott-free."

"My friend asked me ""if you could have any super power in the world, what would it be?"" I said Cold War Russia."

"How do you tell if your gas station attendant is a former porn star? Right before he finishes pumping your gas he takes it out and sprays it all over your car"

"You know who I really hate? People less open minded than me."

"That awkward moment when the Priest uses YOUR confession as the theme for his sermon. Again."

"What do you call a self absorbed lobster? A little shellfish! I'll^see^myself^out..."

"Vegan pizza.... is basically just the box."