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Joke of the Day

"Two Part Joke Why Did the Chicken Cross The Road? To get to the stupid bitches house. Knock Knock [Whose There] It's the Chicken!"

"How do you get to Matthew McConaughey's House? All right, all right, all right.."

"People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves."

"FB is the Flanders of social media, Twitter is Moe."

"It's not difficult to tell crocodiles and alligators apart. One will see you in a while whereas the other will see you later."

"A nutritionist wants us to examine a sandwich. So lettuce..."

"I'm gaining weight because it's hard to carry around this much ""awesome"" in a standard-sized body."

"Why is sex during a camping trip so exciting? It's in tents."

"Why are there separate book donation boxes for Nigeria, Ghana, AND Zambia outside the bookstore? Am I supposed to pick my favorite?"

"I'm not flirting, I'm being friendly. *gets on knees and undoes your belt*"