84071

Joke of the Day

"I've been getting fewer and fewer new followers but I'll be damned if I'm going to tweet something good just because some people have taste."

"Kim Kardashian makes me long for the days when girls like her were hired to show prizes on game shows and we never had to hear them speak."

"Mother's Day is once a year... But Sunday is once a week!"

"Why did Timmy fall off his bike? Because Bill threw a mattress at him."

"A Dick in hand is better than pussy in a bush"

"This guy rapes people with a smile on his face Fuck this psycho up. 248 Oh 330 And 0815"

"Fix a man's computer, and he will be virus-free for a day. Teach a man to fix his computer, and he will be virus-free for a day."

"Hey, parents. Stop raising children and start raising adults."

"What do you call something that swims, is big and has 4 legs? A whale with a table taped to it."

"A programmer's wife sends him to the store and says ""get some bread, and while you're there pick up some eggs."" The programmer never returns."