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Joke of the Day

"If you beat a man with a mustache in a fist fight, you get to keep his mustache."

"A policeman pulled me over today after my wife fell out of the car... He said ""Sir, did you know your wife fell out of your car?"" I said "" Oh thank god! I thought I had gone deaf."""

"You are a lioness and I am your lion.. ..now be a good lioness and bring me some food!"

"Somehow I missed my turn into my driveway and ended up at the pub few blocks over"

"If she ever says: What did you just say!? I recommend an immediate heart attack and let the paramedics carry you out of the room."

"I drive an Audi to compensate for my innie."

"I needed a password at least eight characters long so I picked Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs..."

"What does an excited Japanese horse say? Oshio des neighhhhh"

"I have six words for you."

"Have you ever had sex in the woods? Its fucking in tents!"