162422

Joke of the Day

"'Winter Wonderland' is my favourite song about building a snowman that you will potentially have sex with later"

"Last chance to use the washroom before I shower! Speak now or forever hold your pees."

"What do you get when you use the 3rd Unforgivable Curse on a pornstar? Erotic cadaver."

"My girlfriend left me for a Hindu guy. Anyway, he'll treat her better they worship cows."

"I like to go up to people I haven't seen in ten years and say, ""Was THIS your card?!"""

"How to comfort a homosexuals family if hes in a coma? You can always say ""well, look at it this way; he was a fruit, now hes a vegetable!"""

"Every time I eat fast food I have the thought 'It's kind of ok if I die. People die.'"

"I like to call my dick Metapod.... Cuz all it does is harden"

"Why was the farmer disappointed when he tried to marry his prized melon? Because the minister wouldn't marry the two, since a melon can't elope!"

"I do pull ups to get girls... and pull outs to not get one"