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Joke of the Day

"It's summer. We're young. Let's sneak into someone else's pool and skinnydip. If we get caught, we stab them and assume their identities."

"A man walks into a zoo, and the only animal he sees there is a dog. It's a shitzu."

"Why are hurricane names female because they are destructive until you go inssiiiddee.... came up with this while i was on the water"

"What do Engineers use as birth control? Their Personality."

"Doctor: ""I'm afraid you have Alzheimer's AND you have Lupus..."" Patient: ""...well at least I don't have Lupus."""

"[Dr.] ""Your blood is 40% cheese, if you eat ANY more you'll die"" *slowly raises piece of cheese to mouth* ""Don't do it"" *eats cheese* *dies*"

"Three nuns are sitting in the park... ...when a man comes up and flashes them. The first nun has a second stroke, the second nun has a stroke, but the third couldn't quite reach it."

"When I see a ""How am I driving?"" sticker, I want to take the driver in my arms and tell them that I too have questions about my existence"

"I hurt myself holidaying in Spain this year. It was a Sevilla injury."

"How are cancer and pregnancy similar? They can both be fixed with intense radiation therapy."