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Joke of the Day
"What do Engineers use as birth control? Their Personality."
Next Joke
"My girlfriend makes me want to be a better man ...so I can get a better girlfriend. -Comedian Anthony Jeselnik"
"What's a storm trooper's favorite pollster? Pew! Pew! Pew!"
"My grandpa died peacefully in his sleep I can't speak for everyone else in his car though"
"What's the fastest thing on land? Stevie Wonder's speedboat"
"My girlfriend has been crying for hours now after the loss of a child. She takes The Sims very seriously."
"I invented a new word... Plagiarism."
"I'd go to church if they had Wi-Fi."
"Build a man a fire, he remains warm for the day But set a man on fire, he is warm for the rest of his life"
"Ted Nugent predicted Ted Nugent would be dead or in jail by now... which is just one more thing Ted Nugent is wrong about. (Jokes for the week of 4/13-4/19 @fridayupdate on twitter.)"